Monday, March 14, 2011

Peter Pan Mom

This is one of my earliest posts for the soon to be closed Los Angeles Moms Blog. I also performed a version of it in Expressing Motherhood in January 2009. Now that Lulu is obsessed with Tinkerbell, it’s even more perfect that I dust this one off. (And, no, I still haven’t grown up)

I present to you: Peter Pan Mom, originally posted on The Los Angeles Moms Blog, October 27, 2008.

1_2 I've pretty much always had a vague understanding that I was sliding along on a type of extended adolescence.  Having fun, not really responsible for much and somewhat incompetent with a lot of practical stuff.  I'm not saying I'm a slacker, I finished college in 4 years and had real jobs.  I just never had much responsibility and not much interest in learning the skills that would help me be a more well-rounded mom/domestic goddess.  More to the point, I found I could pay other people to do stuff I couldn't--like hem my pants.  I even ducked getting married for a while because I thought it was too grown up.  I have Peter Pan Syndrome.  That's fine, and I've been able to accept this fact.  Here's the problem: I now have kids and it's starting to affect them.

First of all, sometimes I forget that I have kids.  NO, I've never forgotten them someplace, or left them in the car.  I mean, that I forget, that I'm not single and childless and can do whatever I want, when I want.  There was an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda begrudgingly goes to Brooklyn to look at a house and while there looks out at Steve and Brady playing outside and has a revelation that she is married and has a kid.  That's me!  I'm still wistful for my life in West Hollywood I left behind three weeks before I gave birth to Chip, to move to the suburbs.  Intellectually, I know that living in my swell apartment would be hell with a baby and a toddler.  But I can still be wistful, can't I?  The turning point of recognizing my Peter Pan Syndrome came when I traded my BMW for a minivan this past spring.

The experience was so transforming that it sent me to the world of Mommy Blogging and was the inspiration for the title of my blog Traded My BMW for a Minivan.  I held onto that BMW with two car seats jammed in back as long as I humanly could.  When I had to start deciding between having strollers in the trunk or buying groceries, I knew it was time to let go.

Then there is the practical stuff.  The stuff that people who are real moms can do: like fold a fitted sheet.  My mother came out from Boston a couple of weeks ago and I asked her to help me fold the laundry.  I actually need another person to fold the sheets with me, like we were folding the American flag or something.  But, I swear unless someone else is holding the other side, I get all tangled up.  She told me she would do it.  I returned and realized she actually folded them up all by herself.  I didn't even bother to ask her to teach me how she did it.  Then she moved on to the task of taking in the waist and hemming Chip's Halloween costume.  Thanks to her Chip will not be tripping through the neighborhood trick or treating this year.  The holidays are coming up.  I have no clue how to cook a turkey or do anything else related to a holiday dinner.  Pies?  Gravy?  Impossible.  This  year my mother-in-law will be in my kitchen cooking Thanksgiving and then my mother comes out for Christmas.  I'm saved for this year!  I'm pretty sure I could never learn to cook a turkey and do it right anyway.  So I'll just watch the sports on TV and eat chips and onion dip, like I have every family holiday since I was five.

Now here is where the whole thing gets scary: the competence appears to diminish with each generation.  My maternal grandmother gardened an acre by herself well into her 70's, canned enough fruits and veggies to feed her entire town (if needed), was a Navy mechanic during WWII and let's just say she knew what she was doing under the hood of a car.  What else?  She ran her own restaurant and her cooking?  Amazing.  My Paternal grandmother was a garment worker and could sew and knit like the wind.  My mother is slightly less competent than the previous generation.  I'm way less competent than my mother.  My daughter's kids are going to be in big trouble.  My poor future grandchildren.

I have friends who actually scrapbook.  They lovingly record every moment of their children's development all with whimsical fonts and cutesy paper.  I once checked out some scrapbooking supplies and started to glaze over.  I was at a mom's night out dinner last night and the mom sitting next to me was talking about her son's baby book and putting his second birthday photos in.  Needless to say, Chip and Lulu have no baby books and the outlook for getting them is bleak.  My neighbor popped over last week and showed me how to remove the burnt food that has been stuck (I thought permanently) to my stove top.  She is younger than I am.  She also brought me a casserole when Lulu was born.  I've never made a casserole.  For anyone.

I remain optimistic that there is hope for me.  That I can get some better life skills on board before the kids are much older.  Let's hope, for their sake.

This is an original post for the Los Angeles Moms Blog.

When she isn't running from family responsibility, Elizabeth Peterson can be found blogging over at Traded My BMW for a Minivan

Comments (original comments from The LA Moms Blog post)

Jessica Gottlieb said...

I liked you before this post, but now I think I love you. I can fold a fitted sheet but I'm still wondering what to do with the photos and where the time comes from.

Reply October 27, 2008 at 08:54 AM

April said...

I can SO relate to this post! Last week, I was jumping up and down because the girls got to carve pumpkins on a field trip. Otherwise, that job would've gone to their granddad (as usual). It's become my personal goal for right now to feel more confident about the domestic life.

Reply October 27, 2008 at 09:19 AM

Karen S. said...

Scrapbooking--that especially resonates. I don't get it (boring!), and my photos will probably never be neatly placed in albums or even categorized in bunches.

Basically, I suck at being a housewife, although I'm okay at being a SAHM. So just concentrate on the stuff you do well, and don't beat yourself up about it. You love and take care of your kids--the rest'll sort itself out.

Reply October 27, 2008 at 10:35 PM

Julie said...

That is the best thing I have read in a long time! Wow, can I ever relate! I can't fold a fitted sheet to save my life. I traded in my car for a minivan and my license plate is WhoNew. Trust me, I know what you are talking about!

Reply October 28, 2008 at 10:43 AM

Travelingmom said...

At least you are still in CA! I am wistful about Hermosa Beach as I put on another sweatshirt to keep warm (it is full-blown Fall in CT). I just talked to a guy tonight who moved to FLA from TX and says he is tired of all the New Englanders who moved in and are trying to boss him around. I mean, didn't they notice his HAT?

Reply October 28, 2008 at 05:17 PM

erin m said...

i just roll the sheets into a ball and shove them into the cupboard.
i OWN a sewing machine, yet still bring my son's cub scout patches to the dry cleaner to have them sewn on.
glad i'm not the only one....

Reply October 29, 2008 at 09:13 AM

Amanda said...

I can't even fold a fitted sheet with two people, not even three. I love this post because it is so relatable. I will never be able to do the things my mom can do but you know what, she has never blogged in her life and thinks this site is so cool. She doesn't use an ATM and would you believe, she doesn't pump her own gas. So... realize you are simply a different kind of mom who can teach your children different life skills. You can always hire someone to cook or clean but no one can be the kind of mom you are to your kids. Those are the things they will remember.

Reply October 29, 2008 at 12:03 PM

AKAmomma said...

Glaze over, that is exactly what happened to me. But I still went ahead and wasted the money on the scrapbooking supplies because I thought that was what a good mom was supposed to do. I guess I am not a good mom, because I only did one page over a year ago. I do take the pics at least, but they are still in the deep freeze on my computer. Maybe when the kids graduate from college I will have them printed up.

Reply November 12, 2008 at 04:35 PM

Friday, March 11, 2011

No Host Mom

NoHostMom Time to revisit one of my Los Angeles Moms Blog posts. The site will soon be coming down permanently and some of this stuff is certainly worth repeating, right?

Here is No Host Mom, originally posted on The Los Angeles Moms Blog, March 31, 2010

I’m a member of an informal playgroup that originated in a formal toddler “Mommy & Me” class.  When the class ended, a number of us continued to meet at a local park or at one of our homes.  This has continued for a couple of years even now that the kids are approaching their fourth birthdays.  Our informal group has always worked with no formal playdate schedule.  Now that the kids are three, they are in different pre-schools and have various schedules but we have continued to get together on school breaks.  All the moms take turns hosting.  Except for one: The No Host Mom.

The No Host Mom actually never particularly bothered me.  Now that I think back on it, without prompting she seems to have given me excuses as to why she can’t host.  And in fact, her excuses didn’t really make sense.  They kind of left me with a vague understanding that she must have a gaping hole in the middle of her living room into which the kids would fall.  As she explained and gestured wildly indicating some architectural challenge or whatever.  I inevitably had a kid to run after and just chalked it up to her maybe having a hoarding problem or something she was embarrassed about.  Or I just didn’t think about it.  I will refer to The No Host Mom as “Sue” for the purposes of my post.  Sue is nice enough.  I’m not particularly friendly nor unfriendly with her.  Our group recently gathered at another group member’s home and Sue was there as well as a few other moms and kids.  A couple of days later I ran into my friend “Karen” also a member of the group with whom I share a stronger connection.  Our boys go way back to newborn Mommy & Me and are now in the same pre-school class.  Karen had not been at the recent playdate and so I filled her in on who was there.  I then asked, “What’s up with Sue never hosting the group?”  Karen responded, “I’ve been to her house."

Well. Interesting.  I thought.  “You’ve been to her house?” I asked.  “Yes. It’s perfect. Like a museum.” Karen replied. “It was just me invited [and her son].”  Karen went on to describe the stuff that could get broken and how elegantly appointed Sue’s home is.  Apparently no one told Sue that part of the deal of having little kids is that they destroy everything.  That you need to delay having nice stuff or hide it in the garage until they leave for medical school.  I actually found this revelation from Karen extremely fascinating because Sue seems so involved with her daughter that you would actually think she would have a more kid friendly house.  But what do I know?  Sue can choose to not host a playgroup.  Perhaps she is arranging individual playdates and we haven’t made the shortlist. Ha!  I find it interesting that another mom in another group I’m in was not able to host for a number of months because her house was on the market.  So instead she brought pizza and drinks to the park for all the kids, saying, “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to host.”  No one would have even noticed, but in retrospect it was nice that she made a gesture of doing what she could to pull her weight on the toddler playgroup circuit.  I realize it’s the stage we are in, and yes, each time a few toddlers come over, the place gets messed up.  Nothing has really been broken, but toys get played with, juice boxes get juiced and everything has washable slipcovers on it.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

An original post for the Los Angeles Moms Blog.

Elizabeth can be found doing interesting stuff like cooking with Bobby Flay over on her personal blog Traded My BMW for a Minivan and being irreverent over on Twitter.

Comments (these are the original comments from the post on the LA Moms Blog)

Nicole Pelton said...

That's why I don't host playdates, my house is way to perfect and museum-like. Well, except for the colorful pen-art on the coffee table and the legos and paper airplanes strewn around :) I once belonged to a playgroup where one family bought a mansion with the equivalent of a park in the backyard...fun to play in but had to steal myself not to get to envious. I'm glad you didn't get worked up about this. I've been in a couple book clubs, and some people have these great houses where they put their kids to bed in the back and have a great living room area to host. A few of us had houses that were just too small for that, so "hosted" in a coffee shop. This just bothered so many people the whole club dissolved.

Reply March 31, 2010 at 10:47 AM

Elizabeth said in reply to Nicole Pelton...

Ah, Nicole, good riddance I say. Those people who were bothered clearly didn't realize the whole reason to even HAVE book club is simply to get OUT of your own house and go ANYWHERE. Thanks for your comment and I'll meet you at a coffee shop anytime.

Reply March 31, 2010 at 06:42 PM

Sarah Auerswald said...

OMG -- we had a no-host mom when my 7-year-old was in a playgroup years ago! How hilarious! Yeah, she always had an excuse or two -- and years later I finally did go over to see her house -- alone -- and it was also museum-ish. It's just not how I live, but to each her own.

Reply March 31, 2010 at 05:58 PM

Elizabeth said...

But...Sarah...Did you call her out on it or just take the high road? Thanks for your comment :)

Reply March 31, 2010 at 06:43 PM

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I Signed My Kid Up For T-Ball Against His Will

LittleLeague In early January, our local Little League sign ups were announced. My four year old son, Chip, just made the age cut-off for T-ball in the 4-6 year old division. In general observation of Chip, he seems to be something of a natural athlete and has been playing catch and batting at balls for…Several months? A year? I don’t know, I haven’t particularly kept track. Interestingly, other parents seem to comment on Chip’s athleticism to his father and myself. But, I guess parents comparing their kids to other kids is a cultural epidemic and probably best handled in a separate post.

Chip’s father played in our Little League as a child and said he didn’t start until he was about eight. I was very involved in sports myself and didn’t play team soccer until about that age too. Speaking of soccer, Chip qualified for AYSO this past fall but was adamant after being asked on several occasions that he did not want to play. Fine, I figured being barely four still left him many, many seasons to play soccer if he ever wanted to. As the deadline for Little League approached, both my husband and I asked Chip if he wanted to play T-ball. He made it abundantly clear that he “DID NOT” want to play. When pressed as to why, he always said, “I don’t want to wear the uniform.” Ok, that’s a bit unusual. Normally that’s the kid’s favorite part, right?

So, what was I to do? He is only four years old, I’m fairly certain his MLB career chances don’t hinge on his toddler season. I don’t *think* I follow any particular parenting principles and try to use logic and maybe a bit of my “gut feeling”. Thus, there I was the night before the deadline, signing Chip up online for T-ball. I figured that if it really was something he refused to do, we’d just be out the cash. My husband played semi-pro ball and he and Chip LOVE watching games on TV. I LOVE the Boston Red Sox and any team that beats the New York Yankees. As a family, I felt we were on board with the sport. I went ahead and clicked the box on the form that said “parents willing to assist coach” (why, remains a mystery, really), entered my credit card number and clicked “confirm”. Just like that, Chip was signed up for T-ball--against my better judgment.

My husband and I agreed we’d start to talk up T-ball and not make a big deal out of it. There were still about six weeks to go until Opening Day. Then a phone call came, I took it. The league needed more T-ball coaches. I cut a deal with the coordinator, I knew a friend’s son who had also signed up…Could Chip be on his team so he’d know someone? I also explained my concern that Chip might not make it. Turned out my friend’s husband had signed up to coach. I muffled the phone and asked my husband if he would be up for assisting? We had the deal set. This seemed hopeful. If dad was on the field, wouldn’t that smooth everything out? We went into watchful waiting mode. Chip was game to buy some cleats and a new glove. Positive signs.

The first practice session arrived and Chip was thrilled to be there! Opening Day was rained out on the Saturday and postponed one week. But the first game was played the next day. Chip suited up, loved his uniform and was joining the echoes of America’s Pastime! After the game he was so happy and I was able to unload my doubts about my game day decision back in early January. Opening day was this past weekend and Chip standing with his team and all the teams ranging from the tiny four year old T-ballers on up to the big teenagers was a major event. They ran the bases and through a tunnel of high-fives from the big kids. What a thrill! Then Chip was told he had his second game the next day. He fell over in pure joy, unable to believe his good fortune. Ok, it looks like I didn’t screw up. This time.

Article first published as I Signed My Kid Up For T-Ball Against His Will on Technorati.

Monday, March 7, 2011

CBS Los Angeles – Best of LA: Pet Hotels

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I’m over at CBSLosAngeles.com with my top picks for Best Overnight Pet Care. Because when you head out of town, you want to make sure your dog’s accommodations are appropriate to his/her rank in your household. I know everyone will get something out of this list. Just remember: don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Jamiel Andre Shaw II 12/22/1990 - 3/2/2008

Jamiels 001

Today I share with you a post I originally wrote for the now closed Los Angeles Moms Blog, exactly one year ago today. Even as I cut and paste and tweak something that “I’ve already done”. It’s as if I’m slammed backwards one year as I struggled to write this. If it weren’t for Jamiel’s aunt, Althea Shaw, patiently speaking with me over several phone calls, reliving her own tragedy with someone she didn’t know….I wouldn’t have gotten this piece done. I had the pleasure of finally meeting Ms. Shaw on a scorching hot day this past August in Beverly Hills at a political rally.  I rolled Lulu in her stroller through the crowds looking for her. When we finally connected, we hugged like old friends.

My friend Althea Shaw is taking action, right now, right here in Los Angeles.  She is running for Los Angeles City Council for District 10 to unseat incumbent Herb Wesson who has done nothing to protect young black men from becoming victims of illegal alien gang members. It’s clear Herb Wesson has an agenda that does not include following the law and/or protecting US citizens. In fact, in April 2008, when the Shaw family was planning to go before the LA City Council to speak about Jamiel’s Law, Herb Wesson sent out one of his representatives in advance to offer Jamiel’s father, Jamiel Sr., a “position on a board”—a bribe to get them to back off. Then when the Shaws actually arrived at the City Council meeting, Herb Wesson escorted them into his chambers to keep them from being able to speak during the Public Comment section of the meeting. He warned the Shaws that, “They were messing with a hornet’s nest.” It was ONLY due to the crowd assembled chanting “let them speak, let them speak” that the City Council was embarrassed into re-opening the Public Comments. I urge everyone who votes or knows anyone who votes in District 10 to get the word out to vote for Althea Shaw for Los Angeles City Council on Tuesday, March 8, 2011. Let’s take back our city with honorable, ethical people who look out for what’s best and do what is right.

I now present Jamiel Andre Shaw II 12/22/1990 – 3/2/2008, originally posted on The Los Angeles Moms Blog, March 2, 2010

Jamiel “Jas” Shaw was on his was home from the Beverly Center exactly two years ago today.  He jumped off a city bus with a buddy a few blocks from his house near the 10 Freeway, said goodbye and started to walk the couple of blocks to his house.  His dad called him on the way to confirm their plans to head out and buy him a new pair of running shoes.  He was a standout member of the varsity track and football teams at Los Angeles High School.  That morning Jas had participated in an invitation only weekend football training program. A program that prepared top high school football players for college football and even the NFL.  Scouts from UCLA, Stanford and Rutgers had inquired about him.  It looked like Jas was really going places.  Sadly, he did not make it home that afternoon.

Three doors from his house, Jamiel Andre Shaw II was murdered.  Shot twice, although there were three entry wounds. The first bullet went through his hand and then entered his stomach. The second bullet hit Jamiel’s head.  Jamiel’s alleged murderer, Pedro Espinoza, an illegal alien gang member from Mexico, belongs to the 18th Street Gang.  Espinoza had been released from jail on a firearms charge the day before he murdered Jamiel.  The Shaw Family has been continually thwarted in its demands to know how this was allowed to happen.Jamiel 003

Jamiel’s mom, Army Sgt. Anita Shaw was serving in Iraq at the time of her son’s murder.  This aspect has been the most painful for me in preparing this piece.  I cannot even put myself in her boots.  Fighting for freedom in Iraq and receiving the news that her son was killed on his way home from the mall.  Jas also left a little brother, Thomas, now ten.

Jamiel 002 You’d think that a young, promising black teenager, killed by an illegal alien gang member would get all kinds of attention from leaders of the black community.  The Shaw Family couldn’t even get a return call from Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton.  How about the elected officials representing the Shaw’s district?  Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, City Council member Herb Wesson, and Los Angeles County Supervisor Mark Ridley-Thomas have done nothing but throw up roadblocks.  Their Congresswoman, Diane Watson has also ignored them.  Clearly, there’s a mighty, mighty big elephant in the living room.

Where can we place the blame for the circumstances that led to Jamiel’s murder?  One prime culprit is Special Order 40.  A law put in place by the Los Angeles City Council in 1979 that prevents Los Angeles Police from obtaining immigration status from detained suspects.  This law was upheld in 2006 when Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa promised to make Los Angeles a “Sanctuary City for Illegal Aliens”.  Let’s take a look at Pedro Espinoza and his 18th Street Gang.  According to a 2005 report by Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA),  “an estimated 80 percent of [the 18th Street] gang's members [in California] are illegal aliens from Mexico and Central America." 

When Pedro Espinoza was arrested, among the tattoos recorded on his body were “BK” on his neck representing “Black Killer.” On October 30, 2007, the U.S. Attorney in Los Angeles announced he had indicted members of "The Florencia 13, a street gang," for "shootings of African-Americans in neighborhoods the gang claimed to control."  Mara Salvatrucha (MS 13) is another large gang founded in LA and now operating in other parts of the US and Central America.  It is clear that these gangs, moreover, do not limit their “code” to "traditional" crimes like extortion and drug-running: they endorse ethnic cleansing.

Some may ask: Well, is Jamiel’s murder an isolated case?  I’m afraid not.  Just last month, Ronald Barron, a black anti-gang activist with Ameri-I-Can was killed by a Latino gang member when he tried to stop him from tagging in the 5500 block of Pico.  On April 17, 2009, Marquis LeBlanc, an 18 year old black man was chased down a Pomona street by a group of Latinos, suspected gang members as reported by witnesses, and murdered.  Here I ask, what of the numerous unsolved murders in Los Angeles?  I don’t want to stir controversy unnecessarily, but can we get some answers?  How many unsolved murders of young black men are there in Los Angeles?  In a phone conversation with Jamiel’s Aunt, Althea Shaw, she stated that when Sheriff Lee Baca was asked this question in a news conference, he evaded answering.

We have a class of US citizens, young black men, who are being targeted by illegal alien criminal gangs and our politicians and law enforcement officials are unwilling to do anything about it.  The sad irony is that just a few months after Jamiel’s murder, our country elected our first black president.  President Obama, what say you about protecting our young black men?

For the past two years, the Shaw Family has been working very hard to get information, answers and to get Jamiel’s Law on the ballot.  The ballot initiative has been spearheaded by 2009 mayoral candidate Walter Moore, who gave Villaraigosa legitimate competition last year.  Jamiel’s Law, if passed, would permit Los Angeles police officers to arrest gang members for breaking U.S. immigration law. It would supersede Special Order 40.  To get information about The Shaw Family’s fight, please visit JamielsLaw.com and follow them on Twitter.com/GoJamielsLawGo

The Shaw Family invites the community to a Candlelight Vigil to remember Jas, tonight at the site of Jamiel’s murder, 2136 5th Ave. Los Angeles 90018

Photos courtesy of the Shaw Family

An original post for The Los Angeles Moms Blog

After Elizabeth takes a deep breath, she can be found over at her personal blog, Traded My BMW for a Minivan.

Comments (These are the original comments from the post on the LA Moms Blog)

Kirsten said...

Thank you for posting this. It's very well written and I'm glad to know about it. It's very sad. Best wishes to the family and for their efforts to stop this horrible violence, too.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 08:52 AM

Kim Tracy Prince said...

Liz,

I'm feeling physical pain in my chest as I read this. I remember when this happened and I cried and cried for the lost life, the lost big brother, the lost son, the lost friend. You ask tough questions. I have no faith at all in our city or state elected officials to legislate the purchase of office supplies for schools, much less pass meaningful laws, so it seems to me there is less hope in that direction and more in community activism on the ground. Nonetheless, I hope this post gets some local attention and I will promote it myself.

Damn you. Now I'm sad.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 11:32 AM

Eunice C. said...

Once again, I find myself in support of vigilante justice. So sad.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 01:52 PM

erin m said...

so horrifying. really makes me sick.

i am disgusted by our mayor.

my hubby's cousin was able to make a bit of a difference in Orange County....www.allanmansoor.com.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 06:16 PM

Sarah Auerswald said...

This is so frightening and sad for so many reasons: the injustice and the lack of compassion at all levels of government. Thanks for telling the story.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 06:48 PM

carrie meadows said...

Is there a petition for the ballot, or an online donation site set up?

Reply March 02, 2010 at 07:39 PM

Elizabeth Peterson said in reply to carrie meadows...

Hi Carrie, thanks for your interest. This info is on the home page of JamielsLaw.com

To donate financially and/or mail funds directly to the Jamiel's Law Committee account.

The mailing address for the account is:

The Committee to Pass Jamiel's Law
USC Federal Credit Union
1025 W. 34th St.
Los Angeles, CA 90089

for further info:
GoJamielsLawGo@live.com
323.806.9918

Reply March 02, 2010 at 09:01 PM

Jamiel's Law said in reply to carrie meadows...

Official Website http://isupportjamielslaw.com/

Twitter Page - http://twitter.com/GoJamielsLawGo

Reply May 16, 2010 at 08:27 PM

Yvonne Condes said...

I remember when this happened. It’s a horrible and senseless tragedy. I can’t imagine the pain the Shaw family has gone through these last two years.

I don’t know, however, if Jamiel’s Law is the answer. If it becomes a law it will give the LAPD the right to arrest anyone who looks like an illegal immigrant gang member. That means any young Latino can be arrested for simply looking like they could possibly be illegal. It will stop illegals from coming forward when they have information about the perpetrator of a violent crime for fear of being deported. It’s racial profiling and that’s not the answer.

According to the LA Times, Special Order 40 wasn’t a factor in Espinosa’s release the day before the murder because he was arrested and released outside of LAPD jurisdiction. But that’s beside the point. I think the problem with gang violence has as much to do with the LAPD as with illegal immigration. There are not enough police officers for a city of this size. There are not enough resources in these gang-ridden communities to give young people any other choice.

Something has to be done to stop the gang violence that’s terrorizing this city. And we need to elect officials who are willing to do everything they can to make that happen.

Reply March 03, 2010 at 01:06 AM

April said...

I hope the Shaw family NEVER GIVES UP! Keep asking questions and demanding answers! Use the press to get them to be accountable for this very preventable tragedy!

Please check out www.numbersusa.com There are all kinds of facts and information on illegal immigration on this website. Also, on www.fairus.org We MUST speak out and DEMAND from our politicians to build the border fence and to crack down on illegals.
E-Verify is what is needed nationally. E-Verify is currently a volunteer program that employers use to "match" the documentation a new hire gives (only used after hiring). No match, no job. If this were implemented, within months, illegals would be self deporting. No job, no reason to be here! Americans like Jamiel Shaw should be able to walk down the street at any hour, and not have to worry that an illegal gang banger is going to kill you! God bless The Shaw family, and thank you Mrs. Shaw for serving your country. DON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT!

Reply March 03, 2010 at 01:09 PM

Kathy said...

Elizabeth,
thanks for posting this. My heart goes out to the family of that poor young man. How brave of them to be putting their energies into something positive.
Kathy

Reply March 03, 2010 at 02:16 PM

Michelle T Griffith said...

WOW...thanks for sharing. I'm really just about speechless. My heart just sank and I'm thinking of their family.

Reply March 05, 2010 at 06:00 AM

Sickofignorantpeople said...

I'm sorry, but not all Latinos are murderers, just as not all African American . If the Jamiel's law passes .. Simply put is that the Shaw family is encouraging racial profiling. I understand that they have hate in their hearts for a senseless act of ONE person, but there is no need to generalize all Latinos!!
How many times do African Americans murder Latinos or Americans ? And simply you don't see us all up in the media to try to pass a law to arrest every black person who walks down the street that may look like they are either from the crip or blood gang that sag their pants past their butts just to have them sent back to Africa ! Do I sound ridiculous ? Well, that's how this whole thing is being brought about.
To all: NOT all Latinos are Mexican . That's the ignorance of an uneduated individual . Read
about history before assuming and just because we speak Spanish does not mean they are Mexican !! I know that the famIly wants justice, but racial profiling is not the answer. And for Mr. Shaw to call Mr. Ridley Thomas a sell out simply because of his decision on not supporting the Arizona law on racial profiling is just plain wrong.
I just hope that the Shaw family's hearts heal and that it was a very unfortunate situation ,
but wanting to do is simply wrong.. Do they not remember the 1960's era.
It's a shame if they have forgotten on how it feels to be discriminated ?
And with that I have nothing else to say!

Reply June 08, 2010 at 03:01 AM

BlkWmSpeaks said in reply to Sickofignorantpeople...

@Sickofignorantpeople.........

First of all, need I define the word "INVASION" for you? Cuz that's exactly what's happening here .... illegal aliens are crossing our borders by the thousand each day.

So, it's not 'racial profiling' at all....it's PROTECTION for the Americans to enforce EXISTING immigration laws. According to federal law....immigrants are required to establish their immigration status [upon request...in other words....show "papers".....this is FEDERAL LAW .... "federal law" that "unfortunately" hasn't been enforced.

Likewise, Americans must show driver's license, car registration and car insurance "upon" request. What's the difference?? Why shouldn't Latinos show "papers", especially known gang members?

The illegal alien problem has gotten waaaay out of hand, it's "beyond time" to enforce existing federal immigration laws, however, if you have the necessary "papers" to establish your status..........what's the problem?

The majority of illegal aliens crossing the borders ARE Latinos [from Mexico]....there's no getting around that FACT.

The issue isn't about 'tit for tat' or "how many African Americans have kill Latinos" [as you so IMMATURELY put it] ... the issue is whether or not the Latino doing the crime is an "illegal alien".

Americans can't go to Mexico and do what the hispanics are doing here. please. Buy a clue. I'd rather the police stop every single suspicious Latino in town and enforce existing "federal immigration laws," if necessary...... than risk more loss of black life....our black youth are being gunned down by mexican "illegal alien" gang members [who, openingly, admit to ethnic cleansing].

Are we [Black Americans] supposed to stand by while these people kill MORE of our children....our people???? You must done lost your freakin' mind.

So, no, it's not racial profiling.....it's PROTECTION for americans [& black people ARE Americans] from INVASION .....from those who seek to kill us and our children. If anyone is ignorant, it's YOU......cuz obviously "you" don't know "your" history or federal law.

Every other country has rules, regulations, policies, and LAWS that are set in place to protect its citizens.....the US government has a moral & constitutional obligation to protect Americans from this [current] invasion from mexico.

And, before I forget.......YOU don't get to compare or minimize the plight of Black Americans [blk ppl. were FORCED here]........ to Latinos who come here "willingly" and ILLEGALLY on their own accord....those same Latinos can GO BACK TO MEXICO, if they don't like the laws here.

Go back to your own corrupted Mexican government [with it's hypocritical president]........cuz we all know.....the immigration laws in Mexico are a lot worse AND much harsher & strict. Yet, ya'll come 'here' and complain.

I ask you, dear readers, what's wrong with this picture? "eyeroll"

Reply June 11, 2010 at 10:05 PM

W. Martin said...

Jamiel “Jas” Shaw

I found this by accident and it brings me to tears.

To the Shaw family: I know your lives are forever changed but hope you have found strength through the pain. Jamile sounds like he was such a light with such a promising future.

I wish our government would listen to the will of the people. I believe they are all pawns of corporate greed. How can they see what is happening and not care? It's beyond me but money is the root of all evil.

We need a revolution.

Reply June 17, 2010 at 11:23 PM