I Signed My Kid Up For T-Ball Against His Will

In early January, our local Little League sign ups were announced. My four year old son, Chip, just made the age cut-off for T-ball in the 4-6 year old division. In general observation of Chip, he seems to be something of a natural athlete and has been playing catch and batting at balls for…Several months? A year? I don’t know, I haven’t particularly kept track. Interestingly, other parents seem to comment on Chip’s athleticism to his father and myself. But, I guess parents comparing their kids to other kids is a cultural epidemic and probably best handled in a separate post.

Chip’s father played in our Little League as a child and said he didn’t start until he was about eight. I was very involved in sports myself and didn’t play team soccer until about that age too. Speaking of soccer, Chip qualified for AYSO this past fall but was adamant after being asked on several occasions that he did not want to play. Fine, I figured being barely four still left him many, many seasons to play soccer if he ever wanted to. As the deadline for Little League approached, both my husband and I asked Chip if he wanted to play T-ball. He made it abundantly clear that he “DID NOT” want to play. When pressed as to why, he always said, “I don’t want to wear the uniform.” Ok, that’s a bit unusual. Normally that’s the kid’s favorite part, right?

So, what was I to do? He is only four years old, I’m fairly certain his MLB career chances don’t hinge on his toddler season. I don’t *think* I follow any particular parenting principles and try to use logic and maybe a bit of my “gut feeling”. Thus, there I was the night before the deadline, signing Chip up online for T-ball. I figured that if it really was something he refused to do, we’d just be out the cash. My husband played semi-pro ball and he and Chip LOVE watching games on TV. I LOVE the Boston Red Sox and any team that beats the New York Yankees. As a family, I felt we were on board with the sport. I went ahead and clicked the box on the form that said “parents willing to assist coach” (why, remains a mystery, really), entered my credit card number and clicked “confirm”. Just like that, Chip was signed up for T-ball--against my better judgment.

My husband and I agreed we’d start to talk up T-ball and not make a big deal out of it. There were still about six weeks to go until Opening Day. Then a phone call came, I took it. The league needed more T-ball coaches. I cut a deal with the coordinator, I knew a friend’s son who had also signed up…Could Chip be on his team so he’d know someone? I also explained my concern that Chip might not make it. Turned out my friend’s husband had signed up to coach. I muffled the phone and asked my husband if he would be up for assisting? We had the deal set. This seemed hopeful. If dad was on the field, wouldn’t that smooth everything out? We went into watchful waiting mode. Chip was game to buy some cleats and a new glove. Positive signs.

The first practice session arrived and Chip was thrilled to be there! Opening Day was rained out on the Saturday and postponed one week. But the first game was played the next day. Chip suited up, loved his uniform and was joining the echoes of America’s Pastime! After the game he was so happy and I was able to unload my doubts about my game day decision back in early January. Opening day was this past weekend and Chip standing with his team and all the teams ranging from the tiny four year old T-ballers on up to the big teenagers was a major event. They ran the bases and through a tunnel of high-fives from the big kids. What a thrill! Then Chip was told he had his second game the next day. He fell over in pure joy, unable to believe his good fortune. Ok, it looks like I didn’t screw up. This time.

Article first published as I Signed My Kid Up For T-Ball Against His Will on Technorati.

CBS Los Angeles – Best of LA: Pet Hotels

I’m over at CBSLosAngeles.com with my top picks for Best Overnight Pet Care. Because when you head out of town, you want to make sure your dog’s accommodations are appropriate to his/her rank in your household. I know everyone will get something out of this list. Just remember: don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

Jamiel Andre Shaw II 12/22/1990 - 3/2/2008

Today I share with you a post I originally wrote for the now closed Los Angeles Moms Blog, exactly one year ago today. Even as I cut and paste and tweak something that “I’ve already done”. It’s as if I’m slammed backwards one year as I struggled to write this. If it weren’t for Jamiel’s aunt, Althea Shaw, patiently speaking with me over several phone calls, reliving her own tragedy with someone she didn’t know….I wouldn’t have gotten this piece done. I had the pleasure of finally meeting Ms. Shaw on a scorching hot day this past August in Beverly Hills at a political rally.  I rolled Lulu in her stroller through the crowds looking for her. When we finally connected, we hugged like old friends.

My friend Althea Shaw is taking action, right now, right here in Los Angeles.  She is running for Los Angeles City Council for District 10 to unseat incumbent Herb Wesson who has done nothing to protect young black men from becoming victims of illegal alien gang members. It’s clear Herb Wesson has an agenda that does not include following the law and/or protecting US citizens. In fact, in April 2008, when the Shaw family was planning to go before the LA City Council to speak about Jamiel’s Law, Herb Wesson sent out one of his representatives in advance to offer Jamiel’s father, Jamiel Sr., a “position on a board”—a bribe to get them to back off. Then when the Shaws actually arrived at the City Council meeting, Herb Wesson escorted them into his chambers to keep them from being able to speak during the Public Comment section of the meeting. He warned the Shaws that, “They were messing with a hornet’s nest.” It was ONLY due to the crowd assembled chanting “let them speak, let them speak” that the City Council was embarrassed into re-opening the Public Comments. I urge everyone who votes or knows anyone who votes in District 10 to get the word out to vote for Althea Shaw for Los Angeles City Council on Tuesday, March 8, 2011. Let’s take back our city with honorable, ethical people who look out for what’s best and do what is right.

I now present Jamiel Andre Shaw II 12/22/1990 – 3/2/2008, originally posted on The Los Angeles Moms Blog, March 2, 2010

Jamiel “Jas” Shaw was on his was home from the Beverly Center exactly two years ago today.  He jumped off a city bus with a buddy a few blocks from his house near the 10 Freeway, said goodbye and started to walk the couple of blocks to his house.  His dad called him on the way to confirm their plans to head out and buy him a new pair of running shoes.  He was a standout member of the varsity track and football teams at Los Angeles High School.  That morning Jas had participated in an invitation only weekend football training program. A program that prepared top high school football players for college football and even the NFL.  Scouts from UCLA, Stanford and Rutgers had inquired about him.  It looked like Jas was really going places.  Sadly, he did not make it home that afternoon.

Three doors from his house, Jamiel Andre Shaw II was murdered.  Shot twice, although there were three entry wounds. The first bullet went through his hand and then entered his stomach. The second bullet hit Jamiel’s head.  Jamiel’s alleged murderer, Pedro Espinoza, an illegal alien gang member from Mexico, belongs to the 18th Street Gang.  Espinoza had been released from jail on a firearms charge the day before he murdered Jamiel.  The Shaw Family has been continually thwarted in its demands to know how this was allowed to happen.

Jamiel’s mom, Army Sgt. Anita Shaw was serving in Iraq at the time of her son’s murder.  This aspect has been the most painful for me in preparing this piece.  I cannot even put myself in her boots.  Fighting for freedom in Iraq and receiving the news that her son was killed on his way home from the mall.  Jas also left a little brother, Thomas, now ten.

You’d think that a young, promising black teenager, killed by an illegal alien gang member would get all kinds of attention from leaders of the black community.  The Shaw Family couldn’t even get a return call from Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton.  How about the elected officials representing the Shaw’s district?  Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, City Council member Herb Wesson, and Los Angeles County Supervisor Mark Ridley-Thomas have done nothing but throw up roadblocks.  Their Congresswoman, Diane Watson has also ignored them.  Clearly, there’s a mighty, mighty big elephant in the living room.

Where can we place the blame for the circumstances that led to Jamiel’s murder?  One prime culprit is Special Order 40.  A law put in place by the Los Angeles City Council in 1979 that prevents Los Angeles Police from obtaining immigration status from detained suspects.  This law was upheld in 2006 when Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa promised to make Los Angeles a “Sanctuary City for Illegal Aliens”.  Let’s take a look at Pedro Espinoza and his 18th Street Gang.  According to a 2005 report by Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA),  “an estimated 80 percent of [the 18th Street] gang's members [in California] are illegal aliens from Mexico and Central America." 

When Pedro Espinoza was arrested, among the tattoos recorded on his body were “BK” on his neck representing “Black Killer.” On October 30, 2007, the U.S. Attorney in Los Angeles announced he had indicted members of "The Florencia 13, a street gang," for "shootings of African-Americans in neighborhoods the gang claimed to control."  Mara Salvatrucha (MS 13) is another large gang founded in LA and now operating in other parts of the US and Central America.  It is clear that these gangs, moreover, do not limit their “code” to "traditional" crimes like extortion and drug-running: they endorse ethnic cleansing.

Some may ask: Well, is Jamiel’s murder an isolated case?  I’m afraid not.  Just last month, Ronald Barron, a black anti-gang activist with Ameri-I-Can was killed by a Latino gang member when he tried to stop him from tagging in the 5500 block of Pico.  On April 17, 2009, Marquis LeBlanc, an 18 year old black man was chased down a Pomona street by a group of Latinos, suspected gang members as reported by witnesses, and murdered.  Here I ask, what of the numerous unsolved murders in Los Angeles?  I don’t want to stir controversy unnecessarily, but can we get some answers?  How many unsolved murders of young black men are there in Los Angeles?  In a phone conversation with Jamiel’s Aunt, Althea Shaw, she stated that when Sheriff Lee Baca was asked this question in a news conference, he evaded answering.

We have a class of US citizens, young black men, who are being targeted by illegal alien criminal gangs and our politicians and law enforcement officials are unwilling to do anything about it.  The sad irony is that just a few months after Jamiel’s murder, our country elected our first black president.  President Obama, what say you about protecting our young black men?

For the past two years, the Shaw Family has been working very hard to get information, answers and to get Jamiel’s Law on the ballot.  The ballot initiative has been spearheaded by 2009 mayoral candidate Walter Moore, who gave Villaraigosa legitimate competition last year.  Jamiel’s Law, if passed, would permit Los Angeles police officers to arrest gang members for breaking U.S. immigration law. It would supersede Special Order 40.  To get information about The Shaw Family’s fight, please visit JamielsLaw.com and follow them on Twitter.com/GoJamielsLawGo

The Shaw Family invites the community to a Candlelight Vigil to remember Jas, tonight at the site of Jamiel’s murder, 2136 5^th Ave. Los Angeles 90018

Photos courtesy of the Shaw Family

An original post for The Los Angeles Moms Blog

After Elizabeth takes a deep breath, she can be found over at her personal blog, Traded My BMW for a Minivan.

Comments (These are the original comments from the post on the LA Moms Blog)

Kirsten said...

Thank you for posting this. It's very well written and I'm glad to know about it. It's very sad. Best wishes to the family and for their efforts to stop this horrible violence, too.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 08:52 AM

Kim Tracy Prince said...

Liz,

I'm feeling physical pain in my chest as I read this. I remember when this happened and I cried and cried for the lost life, the lost big brother, the lost son, the lost friend. You ask tough questions. I have no faith at all in our city or state elected officials to legislate the purchase of office supplies for schools, much less pass meaningful laws, so it seems to me there is less hope in that direction and more in community activism on the ground. Nonetheless, I hope this post gets some local attention and I will promote it myself.

Damn you. Now I'm sad.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 11:32 AM

Eunice C. said...

Once again, I find myself in support of vigilante justice. So sad.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 01:52 PM

erin m said...

so horrifying. really makes me sick.

i am disgusted by our mayor.

my hubby's cousin was able to make a bit of a difference in Orange County....www.allanmansoor.com.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 06:16 PM

Sarah Auerswald said...

This is so frightening and sad for so many reasons: the injustice and the lack of compassion at all levels of government. Thanks for telling the story.

Reply March 02, 2010 at 06:48 PM

carrie meadows said...

Is there a petition for the ballot, or an online donation site set up?

Reply March 02, 2010 at 07:39 PM

Elizabeth Peterson said in reply to carrie meadows...

Hi Carrie, thanks for your interest. This info is on the home page of JamielsLaw.com

To donate financially and/or mail funds directly to the Jamiel's Law Committee account.

The mailing address for the account is:

The Committee to Pass Jamiel's Law
USC Federal Credit Union
1025 W. 34th St.
Los Angeles, CA 90089

for further info:
GoJamielsLawGo@live.com
323.806.9918

Reply March 02, 2010 at 09:01 PM

Jamiel's Law said in reply to carrie meadows...

Official Website http://isupportjamielslaw.com/

Twitter Page - http://twitter.com/GoJamielsLawGo

Reply May 16, 2010 at 08:27 PM

Yvonne Condes said...

I remember when this happened. It’s a horrible and senseless tragedy. I can’t imagine the pain the Shaw family has gone through these last two years.

I don’t know, however, if Jamiel’s Law is the answer. If it becomes a law it will give the LAPD the right to arrest anyone who looks like an illegal immigrant gang member. That means any young Latino can be arrested for simply looking like they could possibly be illegal. It will stop illegals from coming forward when they have information about the perpetrator of a violent crime for fear of being deported. It’s racial profiling and that’s not the answer.

According to the LA Times, Special Order 40 wasn’t a factor in Espinosa’s release the day before the murder because he was arrested and released outside of LAPD jurisdiction. But that’s beside the point. I think the problem with gang violence has as much to do with the LAPD as with illegal immigration. There are not enough police officers for a city of this size. There are not enough resources in these gang-ridden communities to give young people any other choice.

Something has to be done to stop the gang violence that’s terrorizing this city. And we need to elect officials who are willing to do everything they can to make that happen.

Reply March 03, 2010 at 01:06 AM

April said...

I hope the Shaw family NEVER GIVES UP! Keep asking questions and demanding answers! Use the press to get them to be accountable for this very preventable tragedy!

Please check out www.numbersusa.com There are all kinds of facts and information on illegal immigration on this website. Also, on www.fairus.org We MUST speak out and DEMAND from our politicians to build the border fence and to crack down on illegals.
E-Verify is what is needed nationally. E-Verify is currently a volunteer program that employers use to "match" the documentation a new hire gives (only used after hiring). No match, no job. If this were implemented, within months, illegals would be self deporting. No job, no reason to be here! Americans like Jamiel Shaw should be able to walk down the street at any hour, and not have to worry that an illegal gang banger is going to kill you! God bless The Shaw family, and thank you Mrs. Shaw for serving your country. DON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT!

Reply March 03, 2010 at 01:09 PM

Kathy said...

Elizabeth,
thanks for posting this. My heart goes out to the family of that poor young man. How brave of them to be putting their energies into something positive.
Kathy

Reply March 03, 2010 at 02:16 PM

Michelle T Griffith said...

WOW...thanks for sharing. I'm really just about speechless. My heart just sank and I'm thinking of their family.

Reply March 05, 2010 at 06:00 AM

Sickofignorantpeople said...

I'm sorry, but not all Latinos are murderers, just as not all African American . If the Jamiel's law passes .. Simply put is that the Shaw family is encouraging racial profiling. I understand that they have hate in their hearts for a senseless act of ONE person, but there is no need to generalize all Latinos!!
How many times do African Americans murder Latinos or Americans ? And simply you don't see us all up in the media to try to pass a law to arrest every black person who walks down the street that may look like they are either from the crip or blood gang that sag their pants past their butts just to have them sent back to Africa ! Do I sound ridiculous ? Well, that's how this whole thing is being brought about.
To all: NOT all Latinos are Mexican . That's the ignorance of an uneduated individual . Read
about history before assuming and just because we speak Spanish does not mean they are Mexican !! I know that the famIly wants justice, but racial profiling is not the answer. And for Mr. Shaw to call Mr. Ridley Thomas a sell out simply because of his decision on not supporting the Arizona law on racial profiling is just plain wrong.
I just hope that the Shaw family's hearts heal and that it was a very unfortunate situation ,
but wanting to do is simply wrong.. Do they not remember the 1960's era.
It's a shame if they have forgotten on how it feels to be discriminated ?
And with that I have nothing else to say!

Reply June 08, 2010 at 03:01 AM

BlkWmSpeaks said in reply to Sickofignorantpeople...

@Sickofignorantpeople.........

First of all, need I define the word "INVASION" for you? Cuz that's exactly what's happening here .... illegal aliens are crossing our borders by the thousand each day.

So, it's not 'racial profiling' at all....it's PROTECTION for the Americans to enforce EXISTING immigration laws. According to federal law....immigrants are required to establish their immigration status [upon request...in other words....show "papers".....this is FEDERAL LAW .... "federal law" that "unfortunately" hasn't been enforced.

Likewise, Americans must show driver's license, car registration and car insurance "upon" request. What's the difference?? Why shouldn't Latinos show "papers", especially known gang members?

The illegal alien problem has gotten waaaay out of hand, it's "beyond time" to enforce existing federal immigration laws, however, if you have the necessary "papers" to establish your status..........what's the problem?

The majority of illegal aliens crossing the borders ARE Latinos [from Mexico]....there's no getting around that FACT.

The issue isn't about 'tit for tat' or "how many African Americans have kill Latinos" [as you so IMMATURELY put it] ... the issue is whether or not the Latino doing the crime is an "illegal alien".

Americans can't go to Mexico and do what the hispanics are doing here. please. Buy a clue. I'd rather the police stop every single suspicious Latino in town and enforce existing "federal immigration laws," if necessary...... than risk more loss of black life....our black youth are being gunned down by mexican "illegal alien" gang members [who, openingly, admit to ethnic cleansing].

Are we [Black Americans] supposed to stand by while these people kill MORE of our children....our people???? You must done lost your freakin' mind.

So, no, it's not racial profiling.....it's PROTECTION for americans [& black people ARE Americans] from INVASION .....from those who seek to kill us and our children. If anyone is ignorant, it's YOU......cuz obviously "you" don't know "your" history or federal law.

Every other country has rules, regulations, policies, and LAWS that are set in place to protect its citizens.....the US government has a moral & constitutional obligation to protect Americans from this [current] invasion from mexico.

And, before I forget.......YOU don't get to compare or minimize the plight of Black Americans [blk ppl. were FORCED here]........ to Latinos who come here "willingly" and ILLEGALLY on their own accord....those same Latinos can GO BACK TO MEXICO, if they don't like the laws here.

Go back to your own corrupted Mexican government [with it's hypocritical president]........cuz we all know.....the immigration laws in Mexico are a lot worse AND much harsher & strict. Yet, ya'll come 'here' and complain.

I ask you, dear readers, what's wrong with this picture? "eyeroll"

Reply June 11, 2010 at 10:05 PM

W. Martin said...

Jamiel “Jas” Shaw

I found this by accident and it brings me to tears.

To the Shaw family: I know your lives are forever changed but hope you have found strength through the pain. Jamile sounds like he was such a light with such a promising future.

I wish our government would listen to the will of the people. I believe they are all pawns of corporate greed. How can they see what is happening and not care? It's beyond me but money is the root of all evil.

We need a revolution.

Reply June 17, 2010 at 11:23 PM

Will You Be My Valentine?

Tomorrow is the big V-day.  I’ve got two pre-schoolers and although there hasn’t been a specific mandate for each child to give a valentine to each kid in the class, we have “been reminded how many children are in each class and to not address envelopes for ease of delivery”.  In other words, each kid gets one.  That’s fine with me.  I have babies, all the kids in the classes seem really nice and I’m the one filling out the valentine’s cards.  However, things aren’t always so clear.  My neighbor has kept me in the loop of an ongoing saga between her kindergarten daughter, who attends the local elementary, and at least one other girl in her class.  This other little girl is just plain mean—sporadically.  The added problem is there aren’t very many girls in the class…Blame the randomness of the local births, I guess.  But, the Kindergarten class is about 85% male.  It’s not like there are that many girls to hang with.  So, this past Friday the mother tells me her daughter is busy making valentines, totally homemade, and I ask about the “mean girl” who recently refused to sit with her because she said her lunch stunk.  My friend said everyone has to give everyone a valentine.  Hmmm.  So, although I don’t have a dog in that specific fight, I did get a momentary flashback to a post I wrote exactly two years ago for the now closed LA Moms Blog.  It certainly sparked quite a few comments on the original post.  So, herewith, let’s revisit?

 Will You Be My Valentine was originally posted on the Los Angeles Moms Blog, February 14, 2009

My two year old son is in preschool and I was informed this week that the school has a policy for Valentine's Day.  If you want to bring in valentines, you must have one for each kid in the class.  Well, fine.  the kids are all between 2-2.5 and pretty much illiterate at this stage.  Mom or Dad would be the one to be filling them out.  Let me add that I have no problem with this policy for preschool.

I was curious about this practice extending to elementary school and posted the question in one of my Los Angeles mommy forums.  The responses were completely unanimous that valentines for each child in the class was required at a wide range of public and private schools.  It was interesting to get some extra comments regarding my question.  For example: "How would you feel if you were left out.", "Valentines are inexpensive.", "It teaches kids to be kind."  Ok, fine.  I didn't say why I was asking.  But some people seemed to think I was either mean or cheap, or both?

As I was hunched over at my desk scrawling out my son's valentines the other night, I began to reflect on the ghosts of Valentines Days past.  Let me break off on a slight tangent here: I have a freakishly good memory, so good in fact, that I often remember things about people that they don't remember about themselves.  That has led to more than one awkward exchange.  So I try to use the power for more useful things, like being a contestant on Jeopardy!  But, back to my point, I remember quite a bit about my childhood.  There were two boys named Kevin in my first grade class, Kevin M. and Kevin S.  Kevin S. was a nice kid.  Kevin M. was a punk.  He was not nice to me and many others in the class.  I did not care for Kevin M.'s company.  He had friends and I had friends, we just didn't move in the same circles.  This was back in the 70's when we didn't wear seat belts and didn't have so many rules. 

I have a particular memory from my first grade Valentines Day.  We were seated in a circle and our teacher, Mr. L'Amour (yes, my first grade teacher was a man and for those who speak French and see the irony, that was his real name) was distributing the valentines.  I still pretty much have the same penmanship I had in first grade, and even then, it wasn't very good.  I had written "Kevin S." on my valentine for him.  But, it came out looking like "Kevins" and Mr. L'Amour apparently made a game day decision to pass my valentine to Kevin M.  I saw the whole thing happen and then the theme music from the Bionic Woman began to play in my head.  I launched myself in my corduroy leisure suit across the circle and took the misrouted valentine from Kevin M's pile.  I tucked it under my arm, ran to Kevin S's location and completed the circuit assuming my Indian Style seated position mid-air and landed back in my spot next to my friend Kristen.  No-way-Jose-was-that-punk-who-had-made-my-life-miserable-going-to-get-my-valentine.  I present my case for not requiring valentines be given to every kid in the class.  My 6 1/2 year old self made that choice.  She had that choice.

It appears that nowadays all we care about is everyone being equal.  Well, folks, we aren't all equal.  I would like my kids to learn that sooner rather than later.  If you are a jerk, don't expect to get a valentine from the people to whom you are a jerk.  If your team doesn't win, you don't deserve a trophy.  It seems to me that we are successfully raising a nation of wimps who get everything, expect that they will get everything and believe that no matter how you behave and how you treat people, you will get a prize.  Oh, and you will get that prize TODAY because you don't need to save up or work for it.

An original post for the Los Angeles Moms Blog.  When Elizabeth isn't reminiscing about life in the 1970's, she can be found over on her personal blog Traded My BMW for a Minivan.

Comments (original comments from the LA Moms Blog post)

Elise Crane Derby said...

I totally get what you're saying, but what about the dorks? I remember (which is a miracle, cause I remember almost nothing) a few kids in school who basically had no friends, due to extreme social akwardness. They weren't jerks. Under your valentine distribution plan they wouldn't get any valentines either. So maybe not everyone should get one but you really gotta go case by case and know the dynamic.
Just my two cents.

Reply February 14, 2009 at 09:25 AM

Laura Clark said...

Yeah, I hear what you're saying, too. I think it's pretty condescending to give everyone trophies when something is inherently competitive, like sports. But, like Elise said, when it comes to valentines, what about the kids who just don't have any friends? Holidays shouldn't be competitive, but they can easily turn into a sport of who got the most or who didn't get any. Kids can be cruel. Maybe there's a compromise. "Secret Valentine" like "Secret Santa"? ... Actually, that could be tricky, too.

Reply February 14, 2009 at 07:14 PM

PlaygroundforParents said...

Darlin', you got off easy. My kid's school didn't just require Valentine's for her class, they required cards for the ENTIRE 1st grade. As in THREE 1st grade classes. Yep. Do the math: 20 students per class x 3 classes = 60 stinkin' Valentine cards. Whether my kid likes you or not. More importantly, whether I like you or not. All or none.

Reply February 14, 2009 at 08:57 PM

Lexi said...

I disagree with everyone getting a trophy and all that. It breeds mediocrity. Good post Elizabeth.

Reply February 15, 2009 at 08:34 AM

Florinda said...

I was in grade school in the '70's too, and I remember some kids getting more valentines than others; I was one of the ones who got fewer. We just accepted that this was the way things were, like it or not. - some people are more popular than others, and always will be, even when we get older.

I think that unless my child really WANTED to give a valentine to everyone in his or her class, if the school requires "all or none," my preference would be "none." (Luckily, I'm almost past this point anyway, with the youngest in third grade.)

Thanks for saying this, Elizabeth - you're not alone.

Reply February 15, 2009 at 09:59 AM

Emily R said...

I don't think I actually responded to that post, but I do think that everyone ought to get a valentine if you are handing them out in school. If a two-year-old or a six-year-old is behaving that badly, I suspect that excluding him from the Valentines is probably not going to fix the behavior. Plus, I've seen exclusion be a way that moms go about excluding other mothers, and it just ends up hurting the kids.

At any rate, your post to the listserv reminded me why I am so happy to be in a preschool where there is no celebration of this particular holiday!

Reply February 15, 2009 at 08:41 PM

Teresa DeGagne said...

Having a third grader and a kindergartner, I have no problem providing 20 Valentines for each...I see the joy they have going through their bags. 20 Valentines are a treasure trove to them. There is plenty of disparity provided in elementary school (even preschool) with who's invited to birthday parties. The kids, even at that early age, can start questioning "why not me?" "why doesn't he/she like me?" While I admit to believing there is too much PC and "fairness", there is also distinction provided through rewarding academics and acknowledging other achievements in school. Personalities emerge and the kids "class" everyone on their own regardless of whether a Valentine is given.

Reply February 17, 2009 at 06:45 AM

Yvonne Condes said...

I also have a problem with every kid getting a trophy and "good jobs" rewarded for not doing much of anything, but the valentine thing is hard. I know my 5-year-old was only concerned with giving a card to his best school friend, but we gave one to everyone. If he hadn't gotten one from that boy, I'm sure he would have been devastated. And who needs that for some silly, hallmark holiday?

Reply February 17, 2009 at 10:16 PM

Kim said...

I have an issue with the trophy thing. I remember when they had to be earned--like by winning a championship game or at least making it into the finals. While I do belief in life that just showing up is half the battle, there's no need to get a trophy for that.

It hurts to see your own kids get hurt, picked on or left out. At the same time, these lessons will hurt a lot more if they don't learn them until adulthood.

Reply February 19, 2009 at 10:52 AM

joanne said...

i'm totally late in commenting on your post and you don't even know me...i stumbled across your blog and realized you and i are on the same LA moms board and you once recommended a fab mechanic to me that was wonderful! in any event, i am completely on your page with the valentine's business. i totally get it in preschool but beyond that, i want to teach my children to be loving and kind but not to be doormats and not to think that all children are equal because they are not. also agree that learning that earlier rather than later is not such a bad thing.

Reply April 15, 2009 at 08:06 PM

Food Tours

I’ve been fortunate to have quite a few opportunities to check out a wide range of foodstuffs.  I’d like to share my journey with you:

Universal Studios Hollywood – International Cafe

View Full Album

Meh, theme park food.  Overpriced and not that great, right?  Surprisingly, this is not the case at Universal Studios Hollywood’s International Cafe.  I was invited to a Blogger’s Banquet to taste the cafe’s offerings, meet the chef and learn all about this award winning restaurant.  Serving salads, cheese plates, baked goods, soups and sandwiches, all in a European cafe setting, a glance at the chalkboard “menu specials” of the day told me this isn’t just some fast food facade.  We sampled four soups, my favorite being the Roasted Cauliflower with Cheddar, Arugala salad with buffalo mozzarella and heirloom tomatoes, a sampling of three sandwiches, my favorite was the Oven Roasted Turkey with Muenster Cheese and Garlic Sauce, homemade BBQ chips and for dessert, Chocolate Enchantment-layers of chocolate cake and chocolate mousse with chocolate ganache, which was quite tasty, if a little much for me.  The cafe also serves wine which you are allowed to bring outside the cafe to sit at the outdoor benches and tables.  A crazy day at an amusement park with the family has left many a parent wishing for a cocktail.  Universal aims to please!

Universal’s Executive Chef Eric Kopelow, the creator of the cafe’s menu, was at the banquet to answer our questions.  The main things I learned is that everything is made fresh onsite, including the buffalo mozzarella and much of the menu changes daily.  At the banquet, we watched as Chef Kopelow was honored with the Santé Award for Outstanding Achievement in Culinary Service and Hospitality as well as being recognized as “2010 Chef of the Year” by Chef Magazine.  Darned impressive for a theme park…This is not your childhood orange liquid covered nachos and fried dough.  Thank.  God.

Wanted: Mom Birthday Party Stand-In

Tomorrow I have back to back birthday parties to attend.  One at 11am for one of Lulu’s classmates, a girl who is having a “princess” theme.  Lulu should be in her glory even though all her classmates are just turning 3 and are still very much into parallel play.  Chip has been invited to his first birthday party of his nursery school classroom’s “birthday season”, which this year spans from January to June.  This one is for a boy, is a “Star Wars” theme and begins at 1pm.  Looks like we are going to be cutting it close OR I may have to enlist Surfer Guy and do a hand-off.  This all brought back memories of how I was feeling during “High Season” last year and the post I wrote for the LA Moms Blog which closed this past July.  Tonight seems the perfect time to revisit that post:

Wanted: Mom Birthday Party Stand-In was originally posted on The Los Angeles Moms Blog, April 22, 2010

Location: Los Angeles Westside/Southbay

Hiring Manager: Chip’s Mom

Position: Seasonal

Requirements: Driver’s license, clean driving record, willing to drive a minivan, ability to source tissue paper and themed gift bags

Salary: Name your price

Must love kids.  My kids and others.  Or be able to fake it.  Due to the fact that every child in my son’s preschool class was born between March and June, we are currently in High Birthday Season Hell. 

The ideal candidate will be happy, jovial and possess the stamina necessary to jump into the very busy 4th birthday party season just underway for the members of my son Chip’s preschool class at Lad & Lassie Preschool.  Must be able to purchase birthday gifts, appropriate cards and wrap.  A love of Costco cake and pizza a definite plus.  The need to be able to simultaneously take care of 2 year old Lulu while making sure that Chip does not monopolize Spiderman (Batman, Princess Aurora, The Fireman) while they are trying to give extra attention to the guest of honor is a must. 

I’m open to creative individuals who know how to finesse an arrival in order to avoid “the arts & crafts nightmare” portion of the party.  Allowing Chip to duke it out with other kids for the pinata candy is also encouraged.  True interest in being stuck for hours at parties in parks, at the beach, kid’s gyms and in backyards while juggling plates, juice boxes and goody bags is a plus although not a requirement.  The vast majority of the parents and siblings of Chip’s classmates are perfectly nice.  The one or two who try to suck you into their pyramid schemes will be pointed out to you at your training party.  Chip’s birthday is in June, at the end of the High Birthday Season.  Candidate’s assistance in the planning and execution of Chip’s party would be a bonus opportunity.  This position may be ongoing, seasonally, until both Chip and Lulu are of age to attend drop off birthday parties.  Interested candidates who meet the above requirements please contact Elizabeth at Traded My BMW for a Minivan.

An original post for The Los Angeles Moms Blog

When Elizabeth Peterson isn’t trying buy her way out of certain mom duties, she can be found blogging about stuff she’d rather be doing over on her personal blog: Traded My BMW for a Minivan.

Comments (These are the original comments from the LA Moms Blog)

Nicole Pelton said...

Wish you lived up here, I could send my husband, who's aghast at the idea of a drop-off party. "Why wouldn't I want to stay and hang out with my kids at the party?" He loves any and all pizza, but I will warn you, every one of your kid's friends would get a soccer ball for a present :)

Reply April 22, 2010 at 02:55 PM

twitter.com/TechPRMaven said...

Great post! It seems like every kid in my son's preschool class was born between March and June, with the exception of my son, who has an August birthday...I thought it was a phenomenon related to his school, but apparently it is everywhere. The parties...almost one per weekend.... Now, the latest trend at my son's school is to bring in cookies, cakes, brownies and favors and have a party in the classroom, which is fine every once in a while, but I swear that there were at least three last week, he came home sugared-up, tired and grumpy (but with a new toy, which was a bonus for him)...Ahh, how I long for the end of Birthday season...

Reply April 22, 2010 at 05:59 PM

Elizabeth A said...

Thank God the birthday party frenzy is almost over for my kids. I remember it well, though, and think you're on to something with this ad.

Reply April 22, 2010 at 07:16 PM

Watching Wednesday – Sex and The City 2